Thursday, January 24, 2008

One of these days, Alice, To the moon...

This actual conversation just happened. [To preface, I have a ganglion cyst in my left hand that I have been "treating" for years by having someone whack it with a heavy book, preferably a hard cover dictionary. Usually it is PunkRockMom, but since she left work, I haven't been able to deal with this because I can't whack it myself, and everyone else freaks out about hitting me. Apparently, I didn't mention the ganglion to the Protégé before I began this exchange.]

Me (to the Protégé): Hey, you are kind of vicious...

Protégé: Umm...

Me: (draws circle on wrist over ganglion) Here take this book (hands heavy dictionary to Protégé) and hit me with it here (points to circle.)

Protégé: Umm, okay, but what if I don't hit it hard enough?

Me: You have to hit it hard; if you don't hit it hard, I will be mad.

Protégé: Let me practice first. (practices three fake hits and then slams my hand with the dictionary.)

Me: (testing wrist) Hey, I think that worked. (puts away dictionary)

Protégé: That was different.

Me: You should tell your mom. It's not every day your boss calls you "vicious" and then asks you to hit her hard with a book.

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