Starting them early

One of my colleagues just relayed the following, as delivered by her three year-old nephew who is having a "bad day" and was having difficulty opening something:

"Can somebody please help me so that we don't have any drama?"

The sad thing, kid, is it doesn't get any better.

Wasting time

Last week, we got a color laser printer in the office. As our IS support was leaving after setting the machine up, one of them said to me with a wink, "Now remember, this isn't to be used for printing photos of Orlando Bloom off of the internet."

I looked at him in mock horror and replied, "John, how could you even think that I would do that? Anyhow, Orlando Bloom is SO 2003."

So on Friday, when I was in the office all by myself, how did I occupy myself? Printing out Harry Potter bookmarks from the Scholastic website.

Hey, at least it wasn't Orlando Bloom! ;)

Prejudice about Pride and Prejudice

My friend Mem often talks about how she thinks Jane Austen novels makes young girls crave unhealthy relationships for unattainable/emotionally distant men. Not that that has ever happened to me. < /irony>

Personally, I like Mr. Darcy better than Mr. Bingley. All that uptight repression could have transformed itself to something very interesting in the bedroom. Behind closed doors. Under the covers. With the lights off.

On the other hand, I totally am of the opinion that the Brontes were masochists. Rochester and Heathcliffe are total sadists; all they needed were restraints and riding crops. And I bet that they probably had them somewhere too. Like in the attic with the kinky maniac.

Yummy food and stuff

I have only had real Mexican food (the kind made by people actually from Mexico, rather than people at places with names like "Border Cafe" or "On the Border") twice and could not believe how super tasty the real deal was. And also, how I didn't need to DIE later in the day after eating it.

It is too bad that it can't be imported to the greater Boston area. I suppose that I should be content with tasty margaritas and some chips and salsa, sans cilantro.

And the late night service window at Taco Bell.

Some one call the ASPCA or the American Kennel Club at least...

And people say I'm a pet hater? Look at President Bush trying to throw his dog!!! It's a puppy, not a pigskin!

Whole Foods

Dear Whole Foods-
I like your vegetables and your shellfish and your cheese and your bakery, but that is the last time I am buying your organic ice cream. Bring on the chemicals and bovine growth hormone, please; they taste better.

Manners

Yesterday, I was at a fairly large scale goodbye party for a work colleague, and my other colleagues were in line for food when the caterers ran out of plates. My friends and I were waiting patiently for the plates to be replaced when some obnoxious person cut the line, went up to the server and started to take food and be all pushy. I said, under my breath, "Uh, there's a LINE!" Not quietly enough, I guess, because the guy totally turned around and looked guilty, and then tried to cut into the line BEHIND us once the line got moving again.

Does no one learn manners these days? Just because the food was free doesn't mean that you have license to be rude.

On top of that, the person who took the last plate, despite the obviously fact that they were running low on food (we had gotten to the party on the later side) and that there was a significant line behind him, FILLED his plate with the fruit salad and topped it with eight large spoonfuls of whipped creme. I was mortified.

And it isn't just an isolated incident. I can't believe the number of times lately that I have had a problem with people talking through movies in the theater... and they were ADULTS. And then you have the people who talk loudly on cell phones in restaurants, at the movies, at the theater, like they just own the place, or who take cell phone calls from other individuals while they are in the middle of a conversation with someone.

I grew up with parents and grandparents who were very strict about manners, table and otherwise. I used to think that it was stupid and a waste of time. But as I grow older, I appreciate that I have a good foundation in manners, even if sometimes I come off a bit more formal than other people. I am not saying that I don't ever make social faux pas; I am only human after all. It would be nice though if some people were a little more mindful of manners a little more frequently. It might make all the difference.